Heaven is at the next stop

hoganddice:

takethethirdoption:

I went to an Arab-American comedy night and there was a Muslim guy making a joke about being in high school football.

"I was hit so hard, I saw Jesus. Do you know how hard you have to be hit to see somebody else’s god?"

This is what jokes about religion are supposed to look like.

lordeddardstark:

what do we say to the god of death?

me: sean bean is that way

assbutt-wizard-in-the-tardis:

I’m not even in this fandom, but hearing this made me feel so much better about life

hellotailor:

thaxted:

Me reading terrible fanfiction.

that’s literally it tho.

hellotailor:

thaxted:

Me reading terrible fanfiction.

that’s literally it tho.

thatpotterguy:

sherlock-has-the-tardis:

forsciencejohn:

cherryredcuttlefish:

I’d love to punch you right now but the prime directive clearly states that primitive species should not be interfered with until they reach a certain level of maturity in their evolutionary tree.

Did you just burn someone in Vulcan? 

No, they burned them with Federation Law.

iraffiruse:

The potatoes have escaped

lalunedejuin:

image

No, Because they are nobles in revolution-era France and will be guillotined. 

You look fantastic. What are you wearing?

the-treble:

narcotic:

parents: i want the truth

me: *tells truth*

parents: nope youre lying wrong answer

image

image

you have no idea the lengths I went to to find this gif set.

northernlotus:

buckybatch:

imagine the avengers playing hide and seek and bucky is always a master at hiding so steve uses a metal detector to find him

"Bucky you’re in the couch."

Muffled swearing